i've been so bored of life. i eat, smile, study, shop..but it's just so meh. there's always moments, and there's always things that make me smile, but i feel like it's so temporary - those few minutes. it's all good, but i feel like i've been cruising on grey. think a cloudy, drab day - nothing wrong with it, but no yellow punches at all. material things make me smile. and looking at the material things in my closet makes me happy, but i can't have all the material things in the world and my bank account is clearly unhappy.
but i've rediscovered books. when's one of the last times i remember being super excited? i remember years ago when i would run up to my room from school and eagerly lap up my harry potter novel. harry potter the goblet of fire - 2 and a half inches thick and i dreaded every single page that would lead to the end of that novel. i would leave the dinner table and pretend i'm using the washroom just to read a few pages before my mom started yelling. years later, the boy heard me lament how i couldn't make it to chapters at midnight to line up for the final installment. the next day he lined up and hunted down the book for me. those two books have sat on my bedroom shelf since. today, i grabbed one, brushed the dust off, and started reading. sometimes it's good to lose yourself in a fantasy world when the one you live in isn't looking quite so magical.

"the definition of insanity is expecting change by doing the same thing over and over again."

miami '09. can't go anywhere without my travel babe.

can't wait for cali in aug! it's going to be a roadtrip - think three girls, 30 degree weather, oversized sunglasses blasting the Beach Boys in an old-school, rusting, box convertible.

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edit: i'm rereading my old posts and we didn't end up doing that cali trip in august. but i did have a lovely sun-soaked summer, and we ended up going to vegas for my 21st. so i'm happy =D

resilient or nonflexible
which one is it?

i want to name my kids - girls - summer, jordan and rumi.
it's amazing the randomness of the things i spend my time thinking about. i'm only 20 by the way.

some things we keep quiet.

not a fan of katy perry, but i love this song and video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDKva-s_khY

probably 50% of that has to do with i thinking the girl (thief actress) is super gorgeous. i was a bit confused at the story line, but after watching it again, i think the plot goes..
girl thief and boy thief are standing in museum at the painting unveiling trying to figure out how to jack it later. boy thief realizes girl thief is eyeing the same target and gives her a quizzical look. (favourite moment of mine right there.) boy thief's theory is confirmed after recognizing her on tv. boy thief and girl thief both get invited to a luncheon. boy thief makes his move first and steal's an old lady's valuable necklace before girl thief can. girl thief saw what happened and catches on that boy is a thief. after dark, girl thief heads back to the same museum to steal this golden orb. she has it and is safely out of the museum when the curator catches it missing and notifies the police. police swoop down on museum, but who happens to be shadily sitting outside in his car at that wrong moment? boy thief. boy thief becomes main suspect and gets taken in for questioning. girl thief sees them take him away and doesn't want him to take the blame so sighs and puts the orb back. police chief gets a message that the orb is found in the middle of giving boy thief a tough time at the station. grudgingly lets boy thief go. boy thief acts a little cocky and leaves the station. girl thief is standing outside waiting. they lock eye contact and share a look of mutual understanding. next thing you know, they're partners in crime and they go in as a team now. in an adrenaline fueled ending, they not only go back to retrieve the stolen jewels, but they go raid the museum bare. the end. love it.

ok that was pointless and i am totally rambling. but my internal clock is messed and i am bored and can't sleep.

ps. i have no idea how to embed youtube videos. i would love to have had that video directly posted here. easy access to my favourite of the week. haha.

so i've nicely laid out my shoe closet. actually, i've turned my old bookcase into a shoe rack. there's no space in my room, but i've managed to wedge it behind the door. can't open the door the full 90 anymore, but who's to complain when you're greeted floor to ceiling of the one material thing that you can ALWAYS count on to cheer you up?

so i was looking at it when i realized - i lack bright popping colour in my collection. i need some royal blue satin shoes. in fact, i know where to get the perfect pair. but i was browsing around online when i came across THESE.

omgooodnessgottohavethem.

the perfecct summer shoe. and it'll look darn stunning befriending the rest of my shoes. i don't know what it is, but i think it might be the coral. coral is my Favourite Colour of all time. love how it's in right now, plenty of places to find this colour. so less than 0.0001 of a second later, i justified splurging on them and whipped out the credit card.

wait. what's this? half off? sweeett!

so in my happy haze, i'm mentally pairing them with the perfect pair of white jeans when..

'36-sold out'

what?! F@$K!!!

...............F%^@!#@@$K!!

damn you fast people! no worries, i'll find them somewhere else..

"change is momentary, so flexibility is necessary."

completely true and something i need to keep in mind. bludgeoning forward is how i tend to go about things. resilience is good and something i pride myself on, but it's not always the smartest way. i need to be able to consider letting go and more receptive to new (and possibly better) opportunites.

man in a suit comes up to me at the hospital.
"i'm here for the remains."

remains. instantly, images of decaying body chunks flashed in my mind. gruesome car accident? sadistic hack job murder? more likely, he just meant "body" in a more polite/discreet manner. but was it more discreet? remains just sound so vulgar to me. but what term would you use? something subtle that'd get the job done. hmmm... body...corpse...skeleton...deceased...
i don't know. maybe there is no discreet (enough) way to say "dead person".