i smell.....sunscreen and coconut lotion ;)

not too happy of a day today. in fact, i'm a little down. that's an understatement. i was positively wailing earlier. but a 4 hour nap does do you some good. did you guess it had something to do with exams? how did you ever?

i took my spectroscopy chemistry final today. it was worth 65%, and i was determined to A C E it. i hustled in this course all year long, and prior to the exam, i had been scoring a 90% average. funny how things can take a drastic turn in the course of 2.5 hours. it was a fair exam, but long story short, i ran out of time, resulting in leaving two pages blank. i dont think i have every left a page blank, nonetheless two, in my whole academic career. needless to say, i was devastated.

but we gotta move along now, don't we?
yea. it's just a lot harder to do than say.

no use crying over spilt milk. ..how i hate that saying.

when i came home, my brother made me curly fries. ....
he even went as far as to bring it up to my room. weird..
he also made me tea.
oh i get it. hahah, my mom must have called and clued him in. so sweet <3

inner peace

I've been boring so I'm going to talk about studying and exams yet AGAIN. but when your 8am-11:30 pm is filled focusing on one thing only, it's hard to take your mind it and talk about an unrelated topic.

But I just wanted to say that I have been VEERRRYYYY HAPPPPYYY these days!! And I am happy that I've been happy! I guess you could say I've been at a plateau/had rough times for a while, even though I have a very fortunate life. My blah days have outnumbered my good days for the past..I don't know how long. year? Last semester was especially rough. I put so much on my plate that I didn't know how to handle it, and everyday was basically an emotional breakdown. To put it short, I was a walking (if even), basket case.

But this term, and especially these past few weeks, I've been nothing but happy. As you already know, these weeks are finals weeks. And if I am a basket case during the semester, by the time I'm pushing through finals, I have already fantasized through 100 and 1 scenarios about how to kill myself.

But not this time.

I may not be as completely on top of things as I like (ie. I would lovee for my exams to be even more spaced out.) But I have made a good habit of sleeping by 12:30am, waking up at 6:30 am, grabbing my gf at 7:40, and being at the school library by 8 am. Then we focus on our respective subjects till night time, with a few gossip breaks in between so we can maintain our sanity. I've gotten as much done as I can in the time alloted, and I've been doing it healthily! My mommy is the dearest. She's been making me protein based foods, with minimal to no carbs, as I tend to pass out after eating them. Because I've been getting more sleep than I usually do, due to regulated sleep hours, I have also been cutting out the coffee. My source of caffeine comes from the big mug of green tea I've been warming up my mornings with. So yay to keeping my sanity and being healthy in a typically super stressful time! Two down, 3 to go, and goodbye third year biochem!

I am so going to buy myself a congratulatory pair of loubs and the lv stresa after this is over and done with. T-8 days to a sunshine-filled summer! muahz xoxo

i take my every mornings with a cup of green tea and honey. so nice and comforting when i didn't have time this morning, my mom pushed a mug into my hands as i ran out the door. inside? my familiar cup of tea <3

your phenotype depends on genotype and environment.

so changes in your genotype will cause a change in your phenotype. if your genotype is EXACTLY the same as someone else's, then the only thing causing a change in your appearance will be the environment you live in.

with that being said, just analyzing the genotype portion, of course as humans, we have overall features of our genome that everyone in the species share. for example, this includes the genes that encode for everyone having 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth, etcetc. however, we know each of us look different from one another, and genomically, this due to polymorphism. this is where the sequence differences, duplications, deletions, insertions, location and the number of transposable elements each of us contain are held accountable for our individual appearance.

...studying for my genetics course. trying to make some use of my procrastination time.. productive procrastination haha..

this whole boosting up the protein thing is a lot harder than i thought. i thought protein is supposed to fill you up, and leave you with less hunger cravings (because proteins are harder to digest), but i'm eating more and feeling hungrier than ever. o well, must stick with a mainly healthy diet.

i also realized why i was able to typically eat a poutine, and go the rest of the day without eating anything else. that is because fats are usually kept in your system much longer. instead of being completely digested, they get directed to be stored in your fat cells =) courtesy of my biochem prof.

however, with that being said. obviously it's not a very healthy way to go through your days, much less life. and you can be a skinny girl with high fat mass all over - not cute.

today i had:

happy planet juice

tea with milk and honey

2 meatballs

a handful of frosted flakes with milk (not so good)

couple bites of instant noodle (also, not so good)

tofu and pickled veggie for lunch, plus edamame beans

less than a handful of trailmix for snack

i'm going for a jog around the track tonight to get some fresh air and clear my head

it's a gorgeous day outside, i'm studying at the ubc med library while i wait to start volunteering, everything is glass and sunshine, i've been eating right and drinking lots of water....i feel good. =)

im determined to lose weight, yet be healthy, and what i was doing before just wasn't working out.

so new mantra:

carbs are not my friend

the gym and i are the bestest of friends.

haha i will repeat until i believe it.

my psych prof said that in evolution, we have been conditioned to view food as a reward - eating triggers the reward mechanism of the brain. however, some people have been able to condition themselves to view food negatively, for example, people suffering from anorexia. of course, this concept is known and very intuitive. but it made me realize:

i too have been able to condition myself to view certain foods negatively. i don't touch burgers, pizza, hot dogs, pasta or donuts - although i think they taste good - because somehow, i have associated them with feeling and looking unpleasant after i eat them. i never crave or have any desire to eat them. this is a good start, but i still inhale excessive amounts of chocolates, cookies, french fries and bread as if they were going out of style. but since i am able to condition myself out of certain bad foods, i'm going to work on broadening this category so my diet is healthier overall. think more protein, and less junk and carbs.

"if you don't like something, change it. if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

yessir.

ok byebye.

i bought these for summer. tooo excited for the beach, and not excited enough for the studying to be done for the weeks ahead. uh oh.

the 1st and the last one are from victoria's secret, and the middle one is from beach bunny. i think they're super cute!!