i've been so bored of life. i eat, smile, study, shop..but it's just so meh. there's always moments, and there's always things that make me smile, but i feel like it's so temporary - those few minutes. it's all good, but i feel like i've been cruising on grey. think a cloudy, drab day - nothing wrong with it, but no yellow punches at all. material things make me smile. and looking at the material things in my closet makes me happy, but i can't have all the material things in the world and my bank account is clearly unhappy.
but i've rediscovered books. when's one of the last times i remember being super excited? i remember years ago when i would run up to my room from school and eagerly lap up my harry potter novel. harry potter the goblet of fire - 2 and a half inches thick and i dreaded every single page that would lead to the end of that novel. i would leave the dinner table and pretend i'm using the washroom just to read a few pages before my mom started yelling. years later, the boy heard me lament how i couldn't make it to chapters at midnight to line up for the final installment. the next day he lined up and hunted down the book for me. those two books have sat on my bedroom shelf since. today, i grabbed one, brushed the dust off, and started reading. sometimes it's good to lose yourself in a fantasy world when the one you live in isn't looking quite so magical.