you can get me to buy basically anything that's coral. haha.

i've been so bored of life. i eat, smile, study, shop..but it's just so meh. there's always moments, and there's always things that make me smile, but i feel like it's so temporary - those few minutes. it's all good, but i feel like i've been cruising on grey. think a cloudy, drab day - nothing wrong with it, but no yellow punches at all. material things make me smile. and looking at the material things in my closet makes me happy, but i can't have all the material things in the world and my bank account is clearly unhappy.
but i've rediscovered books. when's one of the last times i remember being super excited? i remember years ago when i would run up to my room from school and eagerly lap up my harry potter novel. harry potter the goblet of fire - 2 and a half inches thick and i dreaded every single page that would lead to the end of that novel. i would leave the dinner table and pretend i'm using the washroom just to read a few pages before my mom started yelling. years later, the boy heard me lament how i couldn't make it to chapters at midnight to line up for the final installment. the next day he lined up and hunted down the book for me. those two books have sat on my bedroom shelf since. today, i grabbed one, brushed the dust off, and started reading. sometimes it's good to lose yourself in a fantasy world when the one you live in isn't looking quite so magical.

"the definition of insanity is expecting change by doing the same thing over and over again."

miami '09. can't go anywhere without my travel babe.

can't wait for cali in aug! it's going to be a roadtrip - think three girls, 30 degree weather, oversized sunglasses blasting the Beach Boys in an old-school, rusting, box convertible.

_____________________________________________________________

edit: i'm rereading my old posts and we didn't end up doing that cali trip in august. but i did have a lovely sun-soaked summer, and we ended up going to vegas for my 21st. so i'm happy =D

resilient or nonflexible
which one is it?

i want to name my kids - girls - summer, jordan and rumi.
it's amazing the randomness of the things i spend my time thinking about. i'm only 20 by the way.

some things we keep quiet.

not a fan of katy perry, but i love this song and video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDKva-s_khY

probably 50% of that has to do with i thinking the girl (thief actress) is super gorgeous. i was a bit confused at the story line, but after watching it again, i think the plot goes..
girl thief and boy thief are standing in museum at the painting unveiling trying to figure out how to jack it later. boy thief realizes girl thief is eyeing the same target and gives her a quizzical look. (favourite moment of mine right there.) boy thief's theory is confirmed after recognizing her on tv. boy thief and girl thief both get invited to a luncheon. boy thief makes his move first and steal's an old lady's valuable necklace before girl thief can. girl thief saw what happened and catches on that boy is a thief. after dark, girl thief heads back to the same museum to steal this golden orb. she has it and is safely out of the museum when the curator catches it missing and notifies the police. police swoop down on museum, but who happens to be shadily sitting outside in his car at that wrong moment? boy thief. boy thief becomes main suspect and gets taken in for questioning. girl thief sees them take him away and doesn't want him to take the blame so sighs and puts the orb back. police chief gets a message that the orb is found in the middle of giving boy thief a tough time at the station. grudgingly lets boy thief go. boy thief acts a little cocky and leaves the station. girl thief is standing outside waiting. they lock eye contact and share a look of mutual understanding. next thing you know, they're partners in crime and they go in as a team now. in an adrenaline fueled ending, they not only go back to retrieve the stolen jewels, but they go raid the museum bare. the end. love it.

ok that was pointless and i am totally rambling. but my internal clock is messed and i am bored and can't sleep.

ps. i have no idea how to embed youtube videos. i would love to have had that video directly posted here. easy access to my favourite of the week. haha.

so i've nicely laid out my shoe closet. actually, i've turned my old bookcase into a shoe rack. there's no space in my room, but i've managed to wedge it behind the door. can't open the door the full 90 anymore, but who's to complain when you're greeted floor to ceiling of the one material thing that you can ALWAYS count on to cheer you up?

so i was looking at it when i realized - i lack bright popping colour in my collection. i need some royal blue satin shoes. in fact, i know where to get the perfect pair. but i was browsing around online when i came across THESE.

omgooodnessgottohavethem.

the perfecct summer shoe. and it'll look darn stunning befriending the rest of my shoes. i don't know what it is, but i think it might be the coral. coral is my Favourite Colour of all time. love how it's in right now, plenty of places to find this colour. so less than 0.0001 of a second later, i justified splurging on them and whipped out the credit card.

wait. what's this? half off? sweeett!

so in my happy haze, i'm mentally pairing them with the perfect pair of white jeans when..

'36-sold out'

what?! F@$K!!!

...............F%^@!#@@$K!!

damn you fast people! no worries, i'll find them somewhere else..

"change is momentary, so flexibility is necessary."

completely true and something i need to keep in mind. bludgeoning forward is how i tend to go about things. resilience is good and something i pride myself on, but it's not always the smartest way. i need to be able to consider letting go and more receptive to new (and possibly better) opportunites.

man in a suit comes up to me at the hospital.
"i'm here for the remains."

remains. instantly, images of decaying body chunks flashed in my mind. gruesome car accident? sadistic hack job murder? more likely, he just meant "body" in a more polite/discreet manner. but was it more discreet? remains just sound so vulgar to me. but what term would you use? something subtle that'd get the job done. hmmm... body...corpse...skeleton...deceased...
i don't know. maybe there is no discreet (enough) way to say "dead person".

"if you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission."

never really understood the term 'to die for' until i saw this dress.

this dress is to die for, million times over.

kelly cutrone's new book is entitled "If You Have to Cry, Go Outside".
isn't that awesome?

http://www.fabsugar.com/
http://www.purseblog.com/
totally helps fuel my material addiction.

i'm so happy i can hardly breathe.
i'll fill you in later, i need to go get ready soon. so for now, i'm going to use this as a semi personal planner/updater.
tonight: volunteer till 9, then dinner at 9:45 with the entire family at cincin. (completely last minute, but the mother's been wanting to go dineout vancouver. and i thought it ran till the end of this month, but apparently, tomorrow's the last day. eek!)
sunday: my mom's also been shamelessly hinting she'd like to eat seafood. so it's a daughter and mother date at blue water cafe! 7:15pm. i'm surprised everything's not completely booked up yet. but hey, good news for me!

psps. i would like to add i am dead excited for dash berlin this sat! we gotta look gooodd ladies!

i've been missing china. we visited tourist attractions almost every day. and while they were certainly magnificent and jaw droppingly gorgeous, the moments about china i find myself missing are just the little everyday things.

damn, come to think of it. do you know what i miss the most about china? the tinkling sound beijing's underground subway makes as it pulls into a station.

so I'm done exams. as. of. noww.
the feeling after a strenuous set of exams are over is always weird. you go from routine 5 am wakeups and calculating any possible way you can steal an extra 15 min studying time, to having stretches of [pause] FREE TIME.
i always feel like being super productive after exams. i know this will wear off shortly, but i'm still in the adjusting stage. i was going to reward myself by splurging on "doing right" and reading up on it. but now i dont feel like i deserve to, just because i don't feel like i did impressive enough to do something as pompous as reading up on a text for medical school halfway-acceptees.

this set of exams felt different though. more rested on these than any other ones in the past. however, i am less emotional than ever. i don't know if this is because i don't think i did that badly, or because i just don't care anymore. if it's the former, that's great. but if the latter, then i just don't know what to expect to see on the scoreboard. was it a make or break? cross your fingers and toes guys and hope the results come out soon. the problem with me is that once i prove something to myself, i try wayy less hard. so yay for 90something midterm marks, but stupid for 70something finals marks. finals being worth more than twice of midterms. that aint smart.

ANYWAYS.

i have decided to get a banging body this summer. no joke. yes ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of year again when i swear on every hair of my body that i will religiously hit up the gym. non stop. day and night. hahaaa.
i'll let you know how it goes.
but i really do want that banging body.

have you noticed that when people try to self justify their wrongdoings, it actually makes things worse? better to admit you were wrong and give a sincere apology than be like "yeah, i'm sorry i did this BUT.." you'd think it helps your cause, but you're digging yourself a deeper hole than when you started. chances are those self justifications aren't good enough to make the other person understand. they're just petty excuses you've used help self-deny you're a bad person.

ARE YOU READY?

the thing about exams is that they really don't care about you and how you choose to live your life. in the end, it's all about how many productive - essential key word, productive - hours you've spent slugging away at it.

you can choose to study by writing out neat, meticulous notes. sounds good. but the time you've spent making sure your notes are nicely written out and colour-coded is time detrimental.
you can take 12 hour blocks sitting in the library trying to force your restless mind to concentrate. and this looks like the mark of a hardworking, intense student. but at the end of the day, when marks come back, you're sitting there wondering why you only got slightly better than average. how did those 95%+ students do it? did they sit there for 14 hours or are they just born infinitely smarter?
exams don't care that you have other subjects you must study for; that you have errands you must attend to. like it or not, the student that spends friday saturday partying, but crunches down for 8 hours sunday is likely to get a better mark than the student who sat ALL of friday saturday and sunday at a coffee shop in front of their books trying half successfully to retain their textbook material.
and maybe you do crunch down during the time you've alloted yourself to study. but let's say you have to spend anhour each way travelling from home to school. versus the student who lives on campus but squanders a good 45 min gossiping with their group study members, who's going to get the better mark? time-wise, they are.

i used to hate this cliche, but i guess the lesson i've come to appreciate is to not just study hard, but study smart.

this also leads me to change my mind about approaching picking electives for next year. if my goal is med school, elective-wise, it would be in my favour to choose electives requiring the least amount of work with the highest mark payoff. choosing all courses i am interested in, but are non required for entrance, that are deemed tough, is great if it will have no adverse effects on my gpa or my required courses' performance. but i need to stop kidding myself. of course it will. i need to stop being a hero and make sure i accomplish what needs to be done before i worry about stuff like boasting rights.

okay, study time. it's a go-go. let's slay them all. see you after the 27th.

i look the best today i've looked in weeks. looks like lack of sleep (an hour and a half) agrees with my complexion.
i'm not even being entirely sarcastic here.

are you dying yet?

just a little obsessed tonight.

this melted my heart <3

on the hunt for fiery orange pumps and fiery orange scarf.