have you noticed that when people try to self justify their wrongdoings, it actually makes things worse? better to admit you were wrong and give a sincere apology than be like "yeah, i'm sorry i did this BUT.." you'd think it helps your cause, but you're digging yourself a deeper hole than when you started. chances are those self justifications aren't good enough to make the other person understand. they're just petty excuses you've used help self-deny you're a bad person.